Cold Open: Don Kirshner’s Rock Concert – Don Kirshner (Paul
Schaffer) introduces the Blues Brothers (Belushi and Aykroyd) and explains how
a certain record producer has changed them from “an authentic blues act” to “a
viable commercial product.” Joliet Jake and Elwood perform “Hey Bartender”, a
catchy blues drinking song with great lyrics.
Monologue – Steve Martin comes out doing a funny bit about
how to tell jokes that relate to everyone and mentions Shakespearean roles he’ll
be taking on at summer festivals as not to be “typecast as a comedian”. Then he
tells a funny story about visiting a cathedral in France and does a bit from
his “magic act” with Bill Murray that consists of manically removing random
items of clothing and jewelry. Classic Steve Martin humor before he lost his
touch and started doing any awful movie that had a big enough paycheck.
Hey You! – Gilda advertises a perfume made especially for
one night stands. Great premise that was executed very well in a pre-taped
format.
Festrunk Brothers – Jorge and Yortunk have invited “two
swinging foxes” over to their bachelor pad. They decline an invitation to a
party from their black neighbor Cliff (Garrett Morris) who explains to the
Festrunks that they have been tricked and the foxes are not showing up. This is
after they tell him they had to go to the statue of liberty to get birth
control devices. Then, the foxes actually showed up. Steve and Danny’s bizarre
foreign takes on American sayings (“We sure have a drag”) and their sad,
dejected walks back to the door when Larraine and Gilda showed up always get me
every time. Their “portable floor vacuum” with a huge poisonous symbol on the
front is also hilarious. Also, the “slap my hand, black soul man” bit and the “protruding
buttocks” line and Steve’s bizarre “astro sign medallions” joke (Next time, try
five of them!) crack me up.
Theodoric of York: Medieval Barber – A sketch about how
barbers conducted “healing practices” in the Middle Ages before the days of
doctors and medicine. Curtin and Aykroyd were especially good in this one. Jane
Curtin brings in her sick daughter (Larraine) who ends up dead despite all of
Theodoric’s best efforts. A hunchbacked Belushi brings in a patient (Bill
Murray) who was run over by an ox cart after drinking too much mead. He is
promptly hung up by his ankles and drained of his blood. Most of the humor in
this comes from suggestions of ridiculous cures. The ending was great with
Steve’s’ whole “scientific method.”
Dancing in The Dark – A classic Steve and Gilda spot each
other from across the bar and start going in to spastic choreography.
Obviously, this was more sweet and poignant than funny.
Weekend Update with Jane Curtin and Dan Aykroyd – Sponsored
by “Cruelex, the first men’s grooming aid that promotes jock itch.” Strangely
hilarious. This edition was absent of guest commentaries aside from Garrett
shortchanging Dan on a pot deal. He doesn’t have enough to perform a parraquat
test. Jane and Dan viciously debate abortion, (“you ignorant misguided slut”)
followed by the announcement that Garret Morris has been shot to death, but
their reliance on cue cards kind of takes away from it. Best jokes: Jimmy
Hoffa, James Schlesinger (sp?), LBJ death hoax, nasal pill. I have started to
notice how Dan looks uncomfortable at the Update desk, but that really didn’t
take away from his delivery.
King Tut – Steve Martin performs his classic Egyptian
number. I loved how he starts out saying he’s ashamed of the way his exhibit
has been over commercialized and that he used “ancient melodies” to write this
song before it quickly turns into over commercialized, disco hogwash. The line
“he gave his life for tourism” says it all.
Love Story – Curtin and Belushi play an old couple who have
to confess to each other that they’ve each been having extramarital affairs.
They have trouble believing each other at first, so they go into every
excruciating detail. It all turns out to be a lie just to get each other in the
mood for sex. This was a very funny premise and was very well acted in both
parts.
Gary Weis Film – Toni Basil and the Lockers choreograph a
dance number to Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake Ballet. The film opens with a phone
conversation between Toni and Shabadoo. This may not have been that funny, but
it was certainly fun to watch.
Trough N’ Brew – Office Workers are figuring out where to go
out to lunch and decide on the new trough restaurant downtown. This was
probably the weakest sketch of the night. It was a one joke premise of sorts,
but thankfully it didn’t drag on too long.
Nerds Science Fair – Lisa Loopner and Todd DiLaMuca (Radner
and Murray) display a “Dialing for Toast” exhibit where Todd has hooked up a
toaster to a phone and you can dial “program A” for lighter toast and “program
B” for darker toast with all the sandwich spreads you could want (Liverwurst,
Spam, Cheez Whiz, Peanut Butter,) and compare it to Grant Robinson Jr.’s
(Garrett Morris) lame static electricity and balloons experiment. I love when
Todd says Grant is “the only negro here”. Meanwhile, Lisa’s crush, Charles “Chazz
the Spazz” Nurlman (Steve Martin) the “dreamy president of the science fair”
reveals his “top secret project” to be a “plutonium bomb”. Lisa’s mom (Curtin)
inevitably shows up at the end and makes egg salad for everybody. Typical nerd
shtick here. There have been better installments of this sketch.
Blues Brothers perform “I Don’t Know” – Another great non
comedic song with funny sets of lyrics that seem to be telling a story. Belushi
is really a better singer than he gets credit for here.
Next Week In Review – Maxine Universe (Larraine Newman)
moderates a series of psychics Cocua, Kreeg Antword, Mitzie Molnar (Martin,
Aykroyd, Curtin) debating whether the biggest news story of the next coming
week will be the disappearance of the second biggest nuclear dump in the
country, the kidnapping of Debbie Boone (“Boone-napping” HA!) or the pope’s
cloning and which will be on the next cover of TIME Magazine. Martin argues
that none of those will be the next cover. The cover will be aliens from space
transmitting a message to earth which will turn out to be “Send More Chuck
Berry” seeing as we NASA put up a tape of “the sounds of earth” on Voyager One
and aliens have found it. Then, all three psychics tell the host that she will
leave the show next week. Very funny premise that was also executed well by
Martin and all cast members. The humor comes from the details of everyone’s
ridiculous predictions.
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