I Am Also The World – After showing a clip of the “Polka For
Africa” music video, MTV VJ Mark Goodman (Hall) explains that Prince didn’t
appear in the “We Are The World” video because he was too busy bailing his body
guards out of jail for beating up some of his fans. He also states that Prince
organized his own video to benefit world hunger. This video just shows Prince
(Crystal) on a soundstage singing of his own greatness to the tune of “We Are
The World” accompanied by his back up singers (Gross, Dreyfus), his bodyguards
fresh out of jail (Mr. T, Hulk Hogan) and a few of the same musicians that were
a part of USA For Africa who also get beat up by his bodyguards whenever they try
to sing over Prince. Crystal really doesn’t do a good vocal impression of
Prince at all, but like last time he had the looks and mannerisms down well.
Kroeger did a pretty funny Bruce Springsteen and Short did a pretty impressive
Paul Simon. I also liked the back up singers beating up Cyndi Lauper
(Stephenson). This was a decent open and I liked how they tried to work LFNY
into the end of the song. I would put this up there with SNL’s subsequent “We
Are The World” pastiches from the early 90s. B+
Monologue – This was basically just T and Hogan promoting
their wrestling match that took place the following night at Madison Square
Garden. They talk briefly about their training for the past eight weeks and
apologize for being douche bags to some to their fans because of it. They
mention that they did this show because they’d need a laugh after all this
training. They also say that SNL is “the best darn show in the whole wide
world” and if they don’t get a laugh, they’ll beat up the whole cast and crew.
Suddenly, a guy in the audience heckles them and Mr. T recognizes him as the
same guy who did this to them on Letterman last week. Mr. T goes out into the
audience and beats this guy up despite Hogan’s objections. Mr. T says he just
wants to prove that “wrestling isn’t a joke” but the Hulkster says that to him,
it isn’t worth all the lawsuits and damages. This monologue wasn’t all that
funny, but at the same time it just seemed entertaining for all the wrong
reasons. The audience bit seemed staged and I’m starting to think the only
reason they were booked is because Ebersol panicked at the last minute and
called them knowing they would be in town for this match. Either somebody must
have cancelled or the writer’s strike probably screwed up some previous plans
for the show. Well, at least they provided the show with some energy tonight.
C-
Affair – This sketch takes place in the office of Nathan
Thurm (Short). He belittles his secretary Ms. Kirk (Dreyfus) as she brings in
Misty Cooper (Gross) who Thrum is having an affair with. She thinks her
husband, David (Belushi) is catching on to them. Her suspicions are confirmed
when Ms. Kirk announces that David Cooper is on his way. David states that he
has been having Thrum followed by a private investigator and presents overwhelming
evidence to support his case which Thrum characteristically denies to the point
where David threatens Nathan and Nathan inadvertently calls Misty unattractive.
This angers her to the point where she barges out of the closet and admits that
David wasn’t there for her and they reconcile and Thurm sends them a bill for
$450. This was pretty funny and it was good to see them put Short’s lawyer
character into a more natural setting. It looked like he almost jumped ahead of
the script at the beginning of the sketch where he was on the phone. I also
liked Short claiming not to know Gross despite Belushi pointing out he was best
man at their wedding. Hell, I’m shocked this character could even get anyone to
sleep with him. B+
Camp – Mr. and Mrs. Caruthers (Belushi, Stephenson) are
sending their reluctant son Andy (Kroeger) to camp. Frank Lubar (Guest) from
the camp is coming to their house to give them brochures and pictures. They
just find out that the camp is the infamous “Crystal Lake” from the Friday the
13th series which Mr. Lubar has been downplaying this whole time. When they
decide not to send their son to Crystal Lake, Mr. Lubar telepathically summons
Jason Vorhees (who may have been played by Hulk Hogan judging from the hair
under the mask. This was a well written and acted sketch, if not a hilarious
one. It does sort of drag once you get the premise. I did like Guests’ line
about the only parents who send their kids to Crystal Lake are the ones who
don’t get out to the movies much and ones who only care about the price. I also
liked the effect with their wigs standing on end. C+
Fernando’s Hideaway IV – Fernando (Crystal) schmoozes with
(who else) Mr. T and Hulk Hogan. This was just more talk of their upcoming
match after Crystal tells them how “mah-velous” they look. This sketch is
famous because Crystal got Hogan to break character and crack up at his
“Hollywood party” joke and made fun of his jiggling pecs. That clip was
featured heavily in some recent compilations such as the last “Sports Extra”
and “Lost and Found”. I have to say that this turned out to be the funniest
“Hideaway” sketch out of all of them. I liked how T and the Hulk would just
roll their eyes at Crystal’s vapid questions (hell, he even made fun of T’s
haircut) and the Hulk threatened to put the sleeper hold on him. B-
Houses of Shame – Stephenson hosts this retrospective of
America’s prison system. This installment takes place in 1899 and focuses on
homosexuality. Percival Dickerson (Short) is a first time prisoner who seems to
be wrongly convicted. His cellmate (Belushi) doesn’t take advantage of him
because “the bull” (Guest) has first choice of fresh meat. Bull is very proper
and refined and merely romances Percy. He even offers him blossoms and takes
him on an actual date to a bench located conveniently just outside his cell.
There wasn’t much to this sketch, but the idea of brutal prison rape juxtaposed
with dainty 19th century sensibilities was a decent idea on its own. Guest
played his part well. The only truly funny part of this sketch was when Guest
asked “Would you wear my pin…and be my bitch?” C+
Ohio Savings and Loan – Hall stars as a pitchman in this
brief fake ad. He basically touts Ohio S&L’s “great savings” compared to
other banks (namely because they’re never open and you can’t get any of your
own money from them). Gross, Kroeger and Stephenson are among an angry mob
waiting for the place to open. This was pretty funny. It seemed to be
referencing some specific incident of the time, but I’d say you wouldn’t have to
know that to get this. I did like Hall’s line “and you know we must be good,
out customers are line dup around the block” and “substantial penalty for any
withdrawal” made me laugh. C+
Joe Franklin IV – This would be the last Joe Franklin sketch
of the season. This time, Joe’s guests are ventriloquist act Senor Cosa and
Ricardo (Guest), famed Tin Pan Alley songwriter Irving Cohen (Short) and
Liberace (himself). I have to say a Liberace cameo seems wildly out of place in
this episode…and yet anachronistically appropriate at the same time. Watching
him, I’m starting to realize Fred Armisen’s impression was way off and I’m
noticing more similarities to Dave Thomas’s impression form SCTV. Anyway, this
was one of the better Joe Franklin sketches. I liked Guest and his puppet lip
syncing to their recording. Also, “Raymond Burr’s Nipple Rouge” struck me as
quite funny. Irving Cohen was one of Short’s better characters and he really
added a lot to this sketch with it. I particularly liked how he went off on a
rant and walked off the set and then decided to come back on in the middle of
his speech at the end. B+
Substitute Teacher – Crystal introduces this short film. He
says that during the writers’ strike he remembered that his mother always told
him “have something to fall back on” so he dug up his old diploma and got a
substitute teaching gig at PS 45 (‘used to be PS 50, but they took off five for
good behavior”). This is pretty much your typical run down ghetto school and
from here, this film becomes a parody of “Blackboard Jungle” except with third
graders. One of the kids, Miller, pulls the fire alarm as a joke. Crystal
explains that there are “good jokes and bad jokes” and Miller challenges him to
come up with a better one. He just rattles off some one liners until he makes
the kids laugh. He had finally reached one kid and he realizes that the key to
survival in this school is to “just talk about what you know.” The next day, he
teaches the class how to handle hecklers and assigns albums like “The Button
Down Mind of Bob Newhart” for homework and the class discusses them. The kids
briefly talk about how Eddie Murphy is too dirty. He has to leave once the
strike is over and Miller tells him “you look mah-velous.” Even though some of
the inner city school jokes seemed a little played out, this had a decent
concept and was another one of the good filmed pieces to come out of this
season. Crystal just being himself and not doing characters is easier to sit
through than what we’ve come to expect of him form just this season. B+
Toxic Waste – This was a brief ad where Fisherman Bob
(Belushi) hawks toxic waste as a better way to catch fish than traditional bait
and tackle. This was clever, but it seemed a little contrived. I did like when
Belushi took a bite out of the big fish he’d caught with toxic waste. B-
Guest Performance – Hogan announces that they’re going to
introduce a special guest like “a host does”. T brings out Steve Landesberg
(mispronouncing his name) saying “he was supposed to host this week, but he got
sick. So, we’re glad he’s better.” Landesberg comes out and just does some
stand up about his recent travels. He jokes about the differences between
British and American politicians. He mentions that this is the same building
where he did his first four Tonight Shows and talks about how he got letters
regarding his “redneck sheriff” bit and how the censors were unhappy with it.
He says he didn’t mean all southerners are bigoted and he does the same bit in
character about how some redneck mistook “three nigra girls” for The Supremes.
This was pretty funny. It was sort of a different kind of low key, laid back
stand up that I found enjoyable. I believe that NBC.com put up this sketch
earlier this year after Landesberg passed away. Now we know why T and the
Hulkster weren’t in as many sketches. They were definitely last minute
replacement hosts (and oddly chosen ones at that). B+
Trash Talk – This was a taped segment with the hosts’
opponents for the following night (Paul Orton and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper) talking
smack as “professional” wrestlers are wont to do. Orton stays mum while Piper
just cracks wise on Mr. T and makes fun of the rough childhood he had growing
up in the projects. They cut back to T and Hogan in the studio who just remind
the audience that tickets are sold out and if anyone else wants to see their
bout, they best get to the nearest “close circuit” television set. I can’t
really rate this or critique it, but at this point I’m wondering why Ebersol
decided to get SNL involved in a marketing gimmick for the WWF.
Well, this was one of the more consistent episodes of the
season in terms of quality. I just realized this is the second episode in a row
with no "News" segment. Maybe that improved it. Next episode is
Christoper Reeve/Santana.
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