Disclaimer – “The Waltons Eat Their Young” won’t be seen
tonight. I believe this was the first of the O’Donoghue opening disclaimers and
it was a very darkly funny one. B+
Finalists Cold Open – Gilda tells Garrett backstage that the
five “Anyone Can Host” finalists “represent and interesting cross section of
humanity”. There’s a Vassar Co-Ed (Connie Crawford), Mother of three form
Peoria, IL (Deb Blair), an unemployed dropout from Oregon (David Lewis), an 80
year old grandmother from New Orleans (Miskel Spillman) and the then Governor
of South Dakota (Richard Kneip). Then, a page introduces the finalists to Gilda
and Garrett who identify themselves. Gilda and Garrett then introduce them to
Buck who tries to keep them straight and agrees to show them the ropes around
8H. They state that they haven’t been given a script yet and their only line
was LFNY. There weren’t many laughs here except Gilda telling Garrett a runner
up was mulatto and Spillman’s “I’m old” line getting a huge reaction. This was
mainly focused on introducing the audience to who the finalists were. C+
Monologue – Buck and the five finalists step out on stage as
Buck announces that they will skip the traditional monologue tonight for
obvious reasons, goes through the elimination process once more and gives the
finalists one more chance to state their cases as to why they should get the
chance to host the Christmas show in December. The governor (Kneip) mentions
the “trouble” with two seasons ago and states how much support he has back at
home and names a few semi-famous people from his state. The co-ed (Crawford)
identifies herself as a “groupie” for the show and how “nauseatingly
enthusiastic” she is. The dropout (Lewis) states he how he is only recently
unemployed and was turned down for a raise by his boss, who happens to be a
turkey at the farm he worked at. The mother of three (Blair) states how her
kids only listen to people on TV. Finally, the grandmother (Spillman) states
how this is both her first time in New York and her first time in an airplane.
She states how she loves the show and how she wants her octogenarian peers to
experience the show with the same thrills that she does. Buck states how they
will been seen around tonight’s show and he and Pardo remind the audience of
how they can vote. Again, this was just so the home audience could get to know
the finalists a bit better. The only real highlights were Buck saying they
didn’t throw out all the weird cards after David’s response and Deb and Miskel
getting big reactions. It’s pretty obvious already how Miskel appealed most
effectively to the audience, though and how she was the favorite. B-
Little Chocolate Donuts – Footage is shown of Belushi
winning medals in pole vaulting and decathlon events at the 1976 Olympics as he
explains how he “logged a lot of miles and downed a lot of donuts training for
that day.” He then hawks Chocolate donuts as “the breakfast of champions”
touting their great taste and the energy they give you. This was yet another
very famous ad from this season what with it being shown in various “Sports
Extra” compilations and Belushi’s “best of” collections and it’s also one of my
personal favorites. The highlights were the footage of Belushi’s athleticism
and his line about how the donuts “have been on my training table since I was a
kid”. A-
Samurai Psychiatrist – Mr. Dantley (Henry) visits his shrink
(Belushi) in this twelfth installment of the Futaba saga. Dantley tells him how
he keeps appearing in his dreams to which Futaba explains that through
transferrance he becomes like a mother/father type figure to him. Together, they
work through his oedipal/castration complexes and pokes holes in how the
Freudian approach is entirely based on sex and cocaine. Dantley comes to the
realization that Futaba has wasted three years of his time and money without
even getting to his daddy issues and Futaba actually commits hara-kiri as
Dantley calls his bluff. This was pretty funny even if ti was a little slow in
parts. I especially liked the absurdity of the free association bit and
Belushi’s performance after the knife goes in him., but since they did four
more Samurai appearances after this one, I find it hard to believe that this
was set up the be the last Futaba sketch although it would’ve made more sense
if it were done a year and a half later. C+
Stunt Baby – Director Brian Welles is giving Howard (Henry),
Gwen (Cutrin) and the baby (Newman V/O) their motivations for this scene about
a beleaguered wife and an abusive, frustrated father. Halfway through the
scene, Skippy, the stunt baby (Newman V/O) is bought into the scene and given his
motivation. This would’ve made me cringe if not for Henry and Newman’s
commitment to the performance. Henry’s ridiculous comic violence was a
highlight and it got a big reaction from the audience. B-
A.M.O.A Sanitized Motel – Aykroyd pitches this commercial
where he demonstrates how a “crack team of sanitization technicians” earn their
seal of approval after a guest checks out. This was rather lame and the
audience was kind of dead throughout, but Aykroyd gave it his all. C-.
Weekend Update w/ Aykroyd and Curtin – Best Jokes: Anwar
Saddat, Evel Kenevel, Surgeon General Warnings, Laraine interviews the five
finalists on their impressions of the show so far. The Governor, mom and co-ed
all complain that they weren’t given enough to do or say. The dropout tells us
what he would do with $3000. The grandma says she just feels tired and old.
This was another quick filler segment with the finalists. Understandably,
Miskel gets the biggest reaction. Baba Wawa (Radner) delivers a report from
Jerusalem on the Saddat summit. She says she met Omar Sharif. This was pretty
forgettable. Another low key Update lacking in laughs, just like the previous
week. D+
Reunion in Kiev – In 1918 Russia, Anya (Radner) is on a train
from Vladivostok to Kiev to meet up with her sister Sonya (Newman) who she
hasn’t see since the Bolsheviks took over. Waiters (Belushi, Henry) offer her
some wine a day early. This sketch was mostly an overdramatic string of
flashbacks to the previous day. It was also light on laughs and made little
sense. The line about the brothers Karimutzov was the hottest singing group in
Russia should’ve gotten more laughs. D+
Mr. Mike’s Rickey Rat Club – In this “Mickey Mouse” satire,
Michael O’Donoghue introduces us to the “Ratketeers”, Willard (Murray), Ben
(Morris), Stinky (Newman), Sleazeball (Belushi), Plegma (Curtin), Scumbo
(Aykroyd), Annette Funicello (Radner) and their leader Bucky (Henry). Bucky
announces that today is “Anything Bad Can Happen Day” to remind them that “life
is full of horrible things”. Then, the “ratketeers” state the reasons why they
love Rickey (he’s real, he’s not a cute cartoon, he’s from Harlem) and they
bring out Rickey’s brother, Dickey who is sitting in his place while he is in the
hospital for a medical experiment gone wrong. Bucky is disappointed with
everyone’s lack of willingness to do things in the name of science, so he
reminds them to think of Rickey who will be watching from his hospital bed next
week. To sign off, they give “Dickey” the goodbye cheer. This was brilliant
satire and one of my favorite pieces Mr. Mike had ever written for this show.
The highlights were the ridiculous games Bucky wanted everyone to play and the
reaction of the audience member getting a stuffed rat thrown at them. B+
Franken and Davis II – In this installment, Tom and Al bring
the show’s younger viewers up to speed on their early “career” from their 1957
CBS debut on Ed Sullivan and “The Lockheed Comedy Hour”, to their controversial
Norman Lear style sitcom “I’m Frankenbaum, He’s O’Davis” and their subsequent
break up leading to Al organizing the Bangladesh concert and Tom’s annual
“Desert classic”. They then bring out Jackie Onassis (Radner) as a show of
graditude for bringing them back together in a way. In a flashback, we see how
Al and Jackie both happened to be at a Thanksgiving shindig Tom threw where he
is forced to communicate to the audience via charades and gravy boat writing
that he is choking forcing Jackie to perform the Heimlich maneuver on him. This
was another great Franken and Davis piece on par with the one from the Steve
Martin episode. I especially liked the fake highlights of their old career
including the fake Enquirer headline “We Hate Each Other” and the lines about
her late husband, Aristotle. B+
Weis Film: Five Finalists – Buck introduces this film saying
how earlier in the week, all the finalists called Buck in his hotel unbeknownst
to each other for a chance talk to him in private and he called Weis and his
crew. Connie, of course, comes on to him. Dave talks about how precious life
and nature are in a thinly veiled attempt to threaten him. Deb tells Buck she
might not be able to afford Christmas this year. Richard bribes Buck with the
possible position of “secretary of mining”. Miskel tells Buck she might “kick”
after New Years. This was a rare Weis film with some actual entertainment value
that didn’t feel like it was just meandering pointlessly. Again. Miskel really
connected well with the audience. Richard and Connie’s bits were highlights as
well and the payoff to Dave’s bit was also pretty funny. B-
Schiller’s Reel: Life After Death – The opening scrawl
introduces this film as people who were once pronounced “clinically dead”
telling of their experience. They describe feeling at peace outside of their
bodies moving through time and space, but they eventually had to take a number
and wait. The second man felt as if he was going through time and space in an
elevator where he also must take a number. This wasn’t really as funny as
Schiller’s last film. It was too repetitive and didn’t live up to its full
potential, but still better than anything Gary Weis has produced. Still, it
felt more like something Albert Brooks would’ve produced in the first season
due to its more low key nature. C-
Goodnights – Buck reminds the viewers to send in their
ballots in this weeks’ TV Guide and allows each of the finalists to make a
closing statement. The Governor tells his supporters to vote for him because
they want him to host more than he does. The levels with the viewers that she
is failing all her classes, but at least this show will get her some drama
credit and tells Buck to “remember” her. The dropout touts chastity as a virtue
to Buck’s bewilderment. The mother speaks on behalf of mothers everywhere. The
grandmother states that this is the best time she’s had in 80 years. Another
filler segment, but by now it’s been very much established that Miskel Spillman
is the favorite. C+
Well, this show had its moments, but it was one of the
weaker shows of the season. That’s pretty understandable seeing as how it was
purposely underwritten to accommodate the finalists. Next episode is Mary Kay
Place with Willie Nelson.
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