Monday, May 27, 2013

Ed Begley Jr/Billy Squier (12.1.1984)

Reagan’s Adopted Son – Michael Reagan (Belushi) delivers an address as a “private citizen” denying the allegations from other relatives of high government officials that he was using his family name to embarrass his adopted relatives even though he may be using his name to write letters to military bases in order to get aerospace contracts. He then rethinks his stance on “embarrassing” family members as they are not blood relatives of his and starts questioning the validity of Ronnie Jrs’ “marriage” when he suddenly gets a phone call that is revealed to be from his adopted father and tells him he was only going to open the show with that old familiar phrase. This bit really didn’t go anywhere and had very little in terms of actual humor, but thankfully it was kept short. C-

Monologue – Begley comes out on roller skates. He does his “big finish” on one leg and sits on the edge of the stage for the rest of the monologue. He does a brief Fred Rogers imitation as he takes off his skates and puts his regular shoes on for the night. Already I have to admit, Begley really knew how to get the crowd on his side as he seemed comfortable on stage and had plenty of funny quips throughout the monologue. He states that he is thrilled to be at SNL because he has wanted to do the show since it began and it was nice to get a break from “St. Elsewhere’s” rigorous shooting schedule. He then tells the audience that he had to talk the producers of his show into pre shooting some of his big OR scenes so he could leave early to host. Suddenly, he gets a page from his beeper and explains that this is from the “Elsewhere” producers meaning he has to call the set. They apparently gave him the beeper so he “stays in character”. Joe Dicso graciously hands Begley a phone which Begley answers as Dr. Victor Ehrlich. On the other end, Dr. Craig (Shearer) explains that they needed to reshoot Begley’s close up for a surgery scene that night and that they patched him through to NBC Burbank for the occasion. Dicso comes back handing him a surgical mask as he recites a couple of lines. Begley tells everyone to watch the next St. Elsewhere to see how cleverly that scene will be worked into the show. Finally, Begley announces that he is going to drop the Jr. from his name and literally does so with a caption on the screen. As you can see, there was a lot going on there. This may have been the most complex monologue of the season so far, but it was still quite entertaining. A-

Kate and Ali – In this parody of the Curtin/St. James sitcom, elderly actress Katherine “Kate” Hepburn (Short) and legendary boxer Muhammad Ali (Crystal) somehow wind up sharing an apartment. This short promo just consisted of Short and Crystal bickering back and forth. This was quite an odd sketch. The premise was a bit lame, but at least it was well acted. Short and Crystal did well with their impressions, but I prefer Murphy’s Ali. Also, it’s a bit strange that Shearer has had three voiceover roles in a row here and he only had one other appearance all night that would only be broadcast once. C+

Book Beat – Bob McBain (Hall) hosts this talk show where his guests, authors Gregory Malton (Belushi) and Morris Pew (Kroeger), both promote mystery thrillers titled “House of the Seven Corpses” and accuse the other of stealing their books. Belushi was very confrontational and had to be held back by Hall. Suddenly, a time traveler (Begley) appears in the scene. He states that he has been watching reruns of the show and has come all the way from the year 2096 AD to deliver a very important message to Julia Louis-Dreyfus that he must keep secret between them. Belushi directs him back stage where he goes wandering around demanding to know Julia’s whereabouts. When he does find her backstage, he gives her some large object he bought all this way with him and instructs her to hold it above her head so he can fondle her breasts and go “wooga wooga wooga.” This was an odd conceptual sketch that turned out pretty funny. Thankfully, we were saved from “Book Beat” which would’ve been a horrible sketch just by itself if they had kept going with that thin premise. Begley was definitely the funniest performer here and I loved Julia’s understated bewilderment. A-

Seventh Wedge – Larry McCafferty (Short) and Leslie Schram (Dreyfus) are getting drunk on tequila at Larry’s apartment and talking about hi trip to Mexico when the Grim Reaper (Begley) enters and states that it is his time. It is then revealed that Larry choked on the worm. Larry offers to play for his life ala Bergman’s “Seventh Wedge” but instead of chess, the game is now the “Baby Doom” of Trivial Pursuit where the categories are Death, Armageddon, Hell and Sports. Stephenson shows up as his date and adds nothing to the sketch. Larry happens to correctly guess the date of the rapture on a whim. On the seventh wedge, Larry asks a Sports question and loses. Death then asks Larry to switch places with Leslie. He initially refuses, until Leslie shows that never seeing Larry again will not really affect her emotionally in any way. This was an enjoyable sketch. It had some well written satire if not a little slow in parts. Since Begley confessed to being a great Trivial Pursuit fan in the monologue, I’m guessing he might have pitched this sketch. B-

Eyeball To Eyeball – Elliott Dryer (Short) hosts this talk show informing the audience that regular host Steven Lamb is on vacation. His guest is David Van Etten (Begley) associate director of the NY Metropolitan Museum and is here to discuss controversies such as acquiring fake paintings, hoarding art treasures belonging to other countries and misappropriation of funds. However, Short merely asks for directions and how to view specific works of art much to Begley’s bewilderment. Steven Lamb (Guest) comes in to remind Short that he is a “very special” person and that he agreed to not come on this show anymore and pretend to be the host. Short claims that he isn’t insane and then leaves. Guest states that Short is “simple” and has no car or license before engaging the “actual” interview where the first question is “do you like beautiful things”? Guest goes off to fetch a treasure chest containing an insulation jacket for a water heater that was allegedly used by Henry VII at his coronation. Short returns to ask Begley about any height restrictions on the Holland Tunnel for driving a large tractor trailer rig into the museum from New Jersey. Begley walks out at this point. Guest states that Begley may be unhappy and Short states that this is because he embezzled millions of dollars from his museum. Guest says he didn’t want to bring that up and shows Short the insulation jacket which he is very impressed to see. This was another bizarre sketch, but I liked it okay. It was a little dry in parts, but it had an interesting story line. B-

Saturday Night News – Guest makes his debut as Update anchor. He makes a needlessly long joke about actor John Gavin referring to Ronald Reagan as “gaga” and even gives the “big” dictionary’s definition of the term “gaga”. Rich Hall delivers some “home economy” tips on places to get random free stuff you can use around the house. For instance, a plastic produce bag can be used as a “visible hand puppet” and you can take over 9000 color samples from the hardware store and staple them to your walls in lieu of actual painting. This was the kind of humor I’d come to expect from Hall. I did like when he suggested taking the foot measuring device from the shoe store and using it as a football field for your roaches. Guest mentions some Washington headlines. I did like the one about helicopter trips to Camp David. Gary Kroeger delivers a commentary on teen suicide where he reads from his list of “reasons to live” including this being Reagan’s last term, no substitute for sex being invented, no more nude scenes from Liza Minelli, not being able to have more than 32 root canals, Ringo Starr hosting next week’s show and the possibility that the world will end soon anyway. This was brief, but entertaining. Kroeger would’ve done better to mention that Eddie Murphy would be hosting in two weeks. On an interesting side note, Kroeger also mentions that he may have been only 20 years old when he was first hired for SNL. Guest comments on artificial limbs and organs that were manufactured without the approval of the FDA. Guest interviews attorney N. Thurm (Short) via satellite from Morgantown, VA on the subject as a representative of Tremmel, Barber and Beauty Supplies. This wasn’t all that different from the 60 minutes film and this bit seemed longer. Short managed to draw an impossibly long ash on his cigarette, though. Guest is a horrible anchor for Weekend Update. This was literally like watching a sedated Brian Doyle-Murray. At least with Murray, there were some moments where you could tell where the punch lines were. So far, at least Guests’ jokes seem to be shorter. C-

Vaudeville Funeral – At the funeral for the old Vaudeville team of Lou and Al, tenor Dennis (Guest) finishes up his song before Lou and Al’s sons (Short and Crystal) pay their respects. They deliver a big musical tribute to their father’s career and essentially tell the story of their rise and fall. They stole and old Jewish act titled “Meshugenah” from Flocken and Dick and take it out on the road. Lou falls in love with a girl and soon loses interest in the act. He starts drinking and gambling to the point where Al can no longer work with him and the act breaks up. They met up one day fifty years later and have heart attacks upon their reunion. The moral of the story is that if you’re going to steal an act, make sure it doesn’t have such a “big ending.” This was obviously meant to be more of a slice of life Marylin Suzanne Miller like piece, but with more energy. It wasn’t all that funny, but it still had its moments. B-

Let’s Watch TV – Chi Chi (Gross) and Consuela (Dreyfus) return with their own cable access show that consists of them discussing their favorite television programs of the time such as Dallas, A-Team, The Muppets, Clark and McMahon’s bloopers and Carson’s Tonight Show. This was silly and cute. I liked it. I thought it was funny when they confused Doc Severinsen with an actual doctor who gave Ed McMahon laughing gas. Also, their accents were hot. A-

Paddy Chayefsky – In this Playhouse 90 presentation, Marty (Belushi) and Angie (Crystal) decide what to do tonight. They mull around bowling, calling up Elizabeth Taylor, using the space shuttle and going to Paris and going to Alaska to become masters of space and time with the Inuit tribe. Belushi is tired of all these adventures as he is getting older. I guess this was an accurate Chayefsky pastiche, but it wasn’t all that funny. The main joke seemed to just be Belushi being unimpressed with all the incredulous options Crystal would bring up. C-

Elevator Stool – This sketch is something of an urban legend. This is rumored to be the only sketch written by none other than Larry David that actually made it to air this season. It was only aired once and cut from all repeats. It finally saw the light of day on Netflix as it somehow wound up in their edit. In it, Begley and Crystal are co architects and Shearer is his client. Shearer wants Begley to remove the stool form the elevator as he doesn’t want his elevator attendant to be able to sit on the job. Begley refuses to compromise on the stool much to Shearer’s chagrin. Crystal just tries to kiss up to Shearer because he doesn’t want to lose this job. Shearer is under the impression that his elevator men don’t even want to sit and calls in one of them (Guest) to prove this, but Guest ends up siding with Begley and Shearer refuses to work with him. This was actually pretty entertaining as a physical altercation broke out between Shearer and Begley. Obviously, you could tell this was written by Larry David as it practically reeked of the hyper confrontational humor we’ve seen on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” with a small touch of the mundane every day humor from Seinfeld. It wasn’t all that hilarious, but it was pretty fun to watch. B+


Well, aside from a couple of weak spots this was one of the stronger shows of the season. Begley proved himself to be a competent host with some real comedic chops. As mentioned, next episode is Ringo Starr/Herbie Hancock.

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