Reagan’s Adopted Son – Michael Reagan (Belushi) delivers an
address as a “private citizen” denying the allegations from other relatives of
high government officials that he was using his family name to embarrass his
adopted relatives even though he may be using his name to write letters to
military bases in order to get aerospace contracts. He then rethinks his stance
on “embarrassing” family members as they are not blood relatives of his and
starts questioning the validity of Ronnie Jrs’ “marriage” when he suddenly gets
a phone call that is revealed to be from his adopted father and tells him he
was only going to open the show with that old familiar phrase. This bit really
didn’t go anywhere and had very little in terms of actual humor, but thankfully
it was kept short. C-
Monologue – Begley comes out on roller skates. He does his
“big finish” on one leg and sits on the edge of the stage for the rest of the
monologue. He does a brief Fred Rogers imitation as he takes off his skates and
puts his regular shoes on for the night. Already I have to admit, Begley really
knew how to get the crowd on his side as he seemed comfortable on stage and had
plenty of funny quips throughout the monologue. He states that he is thrilled to
be at SNL because he has wanted to do the show since it began and it was nice
to get a break from “St. Elsewhere’s” rigorous shooting schedule. He then tells
the audience that he had to talk the producers of his show into pre shooting
some of his big OR scenes so he could leave early to host. Suddenly, he gets a
page from his beeper and explains that this is from the “Elsewhere” producers
meaning he has to call the set. They apparently gave him the beeper so he
“stays in character”. Joe Dicso graciously hands Begley a phone which Begley
answers as Dr. Victor Ehrlich. On the other end, Dr. Craig (Shearer) explains
that they needed to reshoot Begley’s close up for a surgery scene that night
and that they patched him through to NBC Burbank for the occasion. Dicso comes
back handing him a surgical mask as he recites a couple of lines. Begley tells
everyone to watch the next St. Elsewhere to see how cleverly that scene will be
worked into the show. Finally, Begley announces that he is going to drop the
Jr. from his name and literally does so with a caption on the screen. As you
can see, there was a lot going on there. This may have been the most complex
monologue of the season so far, but it was still quite entertaining. A-
Kate and Ali – In this parody of the Curtin/St. James
sitcom, elderly actress Katherine “Kate” Hepburn (Short) and legendary boxer
Muhammad Ali (Crystal) somehow wind up sharing an apartment. This short promo
just consisted of Short and Crystal bickering back and forth. This was quite an
odd sketch. The premise was a bit lame, but at least it was well acted. Short
and Crystal did well with their impressions, but I prefer Murphy’s Ali. Also,
it’s a bit strange that Shearer has had three voiceover roles in a row here and
he only had one other appearance all night that would only be broadcast once.
C+
Book Beat – Bob McBain (Hall) hosts this talk show where his
guests, authors Gregory Malton (Belushi) and Morris Pew (Kroeger), both promote
mystery thrillers titled “House of the Seven Corpses” and accuse the other of
stealing their books. Belushi was very confrontational and had to be held back
by Hall. Suddenly, a time traveler (Begley) appears in the scene. He states
that he has been watching reruns of the show and has come all the way from the
year 2096 AD to deliver a very important message to Julia Louis-Dreyfus that he
must keep secret between them. Belushi directs him back stage where he goes
wandering around demanding to know Julia’s whereabouts. When he does find her
backstage, he gives her some large object he bought all this way with him and
instructs her to hold it above her head so he can fondle her breasts and go
“wooga wooga wooga.” This was an odd conceptual sketch that turned out pretty
funny. Thankfully, we were saved from “Book Beat” which would’ve been a
horrible sketch just by itself if they had kept going with that thin premise.
Begley was definitely the funniest performer here and I loved Julia’s
understated bewilderment. A-
Seventh Wedge – Larry McCafferty (Short) and Leslie Schram
(Dreyfus) are getting drunk on tequila at Larry’s apartment and talking about
hi trip to Mexico when the Grim Reaper (Begley) enters and states that it is
his time. It is then revealed that Larry choked on the worm. Larry offers to
play for his life ala Bergman’s “Seventh Wedge” but instead of chess, the game
is now the “Baby Doom” of Trivial Pursuit where the categories are Death,
Armageddon, Hell and Sports. Stephenson shows up as his date and adds nothing
to the sketch. Larry happens to correctly guess the date of the rapture on a
whim. On the seventh wedge, Larry asks a Sports question and loses. Death then
asks Larry to switch places with Leslie. He initially refuses, until Leslie
shows that never seeing Larry again will not really affect her emotionally in
any way. This was an enjoyable sketch. It had some well written satire if not a
little slow in parts. Since Begley confessed to being a great Trivial Pursuit
fan in the monologue, I’m guessing he might have pitched this sketch. B-
Eyeball To Eyeball – Elliott Dryer (Short) hosts this talk
show informing the audience that regular host Steven Lamb is on vacation. His
guest is David Van Etten (Begley) associate director of the NY Metropolitan
Museum and is here to discuss controversies such as acquiring fake paintings,
hoarding art treasures belonging to other countries and misappropriation of
funds. However, Short merely asks for directions and how to view specific works
of art much to Begley’s bewilderment. Steven Lamb (Guest) comes in to remind
Short that he is a “very special” person and that he agreed to not come on this
show anymore and pretend to be the host. Short claims that he isn’t insane and
then leaves. Guest states that Short is “simple” and has no car or license
before engaging the “actual” interview where the first question is “do you like
beautiful things”? Guest goes off to fetch a treasure chest containing an
insulation jacket for a water heater that was allegedly used by Henry VII at
his coronation. Short returns to ask Begley about any height restrictions on
the Holland Tunnel for driving a large tractor trailer rig into the museum from
New Jersey. Begley walks out at this point. Guest states that Begley may be
unhappy and Short states that this is because he embezzled millions of dollars
from his museum. Guest says he didn’t want to bring that up and shows Short the
insulation jacket which he is very impressed to see. This was another bizarre
sketch, but I liked it okay. It was a little dry in parts, but it had an interesting
story line. B-
Saturday Night News – Guest makes his debut as Update
anchor. He makes a needlessly long joke about actor John Gavin referring to
Ronald Reagan as “gaga” and even gives the “big” dictionary’s definition of the
term “gaga”. Rich Hall delivers some “home economy” tips on places to get
random free stuff you can use around the house. For instance, a plastic produce
bag can be used as a “visible hand puppet” and you can take over 9000 color
samples from the hardware store and staple them to your walls in lieu of actual
painting. This was the kind of humor I’d come to expect from Hall. I did like
when he suggested taking the foot measuring device from the shoe store and
using it as a football field for your roaches. Guest mentions some Washington
headlines. I did like the one about helicopter trips to Camp David. Gary
Kroeger delivers a commentary on teen suicide where he reads from his list of
“reasons to live” including this being Reagan’s last term, no substitute for
sex being invented, no more nude scenes from Liza Minelli, not being able to
have more than 32 root canals, Ringo Starr hosting next week’s show and the
possibility that the world will end soon anyway. This was brief, but
entertaining. Kroeger would’ve done better to mention that Eddie Murphy would
be hosting in two weeks. On an interesting side note, Kroeger also mentions
that he may have been only 20 years old when he was first hired for SNL. Guest
comments on artificial limbs and organs that were manufactured without the approval
of the FDA. Guest interviews attorney N. Thurm (Short) via satellite from
Morgantown, VA on the subject as a representative of Tremmel, Barber and Beauty
Supplies. This wasn’t all that different from the 60 minutes film and this bit
seemed longer. Short managed to draw an impossibly long ash on his cigarette,
though. Guest is a horrible anchor for Weekend Update. This was literally like
watching a sedated Brian Doyle-Murray. At least with Murray, there were some
moments where you could tell where the punch lines were. So far, at least
Guests’ jokes seem to be shorter. C-
Vaudeville Funeral – At the funeral for the old Vaudeville
team of Lou and Al, tenor Dennis (Guest) finishes up his song before Lou and
Al’s sons (Short and Crystal) pay their respects. They deliver a big musical
tribute to their father’s career and essentially tell the story of their rise
and fall. They stole and old Jewish act titled “Meshugenah” from Flocken and
Dick and take it out on the road. Lou falls in love with a girl and soon loses
interest in the act. He starts drinking and gambling to the point where Al can
no longer work with him and the act breaks up. They met up one day fifty years
later and have heart attacks upon their reunion. The moral of the story is that
if you’re going to steal an act, make sure it doesn’t have such a “big ending.”
This was obviously meant to be more of a slice of life Marylin Suzanne Miller
like piece, but with more energy. It wasn’t all that funny, but it still had
its moments. B-
Let’s Watch TV – Chi Chi (Gross) and Consuela (Dreyfus)
return with their own cable access show that consists of them discussing their
favorite television programs of the time such as Dallas, A-Team, The Muppets,
Clark and McMahon’s bloopers and Carson’s Tonight Show. This was silly and
cute. I liked it. I thought it was funny when they confused Doc Severinsen with
an actual doctor who gave Ed McMahon laughing gas. Also, their accents were
hot. A-
Paddy Chayefsky – In this Playhouse 90 presentation, Marty
(Belushi) and Angie (Crystal) decide what to do tonight. They mull around
bowling, calling up Elizabeth Taylor, using the space shuttle and going to
Paris and going to Alaska to become masters of space and time with the Inuit
tribe. Belushi is tired of all these adventures as he is getting older. I guess
this was an accurate Chayefsky pastiche, but it wasn’t all that funny. The main
joke seemed to just be Belushi being unimpressed with all the incredulous
options Crystal would bring up. C-
Elevator Stool – This sketch is something of an urban
legend. This is rumored to be the only sketch written by none other than Larry
David that actually made it to air this season. It was only aired once and cut
from all repeats. It finally saw the light of day on Netflix as it somehow
wound up in their edit. In it, Begley and Crystal are co architects and Shearer
is his client. Shearer wants Begley to remove the stool form the elevator as he
doesn’t want his elevator attendant to be able to sit on the job. Begley
refuses to compromise on the stool much to Shearer’s chagrin. Crystal just
tries to kiss up to Shearer because he doesn’t want to lose this job. Shearer
is under the impression that his elevator men don’t even want to sit and calls
in one of them (Guest) to prove this, but Guest ends up siding with Begley and
Shearer refuses to work with him. This was actually pretty entertaining as a
physical altercation broke out between Shearer and Begley. Obviously, you could
tell this was written by Larry David as it practically reeked of the hyper
confrontational humor we’ve seen on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” with a small touch
of the mundane every day humor from Seinfeld. It wasn’t all that hilarious, but
it was pretty fun to watch. B+
Well, aside from a couple of weak spots this was one of the
stronger shows of the season. Begley proved himself to be a competent host with
some real comedic chops. As mentioned, next episode is Ringo Starr/Herbie
Hancock.
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