Prince at SNL – Kroeger complains to Dreyfus that his only
line in the show has been cut when all of a sudden, Prince (Crystal) enters the
studio accompanied by bodyguard Hulk Hogan (Belushi) and demands to see Tina
Turner speaking through Hogan te entire time. Dryefus tells him that Tina isn’t
here yet and Prince wonders why she wouldn’t be here if she was the host.
Dreyfus explains that Alex Karras is the host and Tina is only the musical
guest. Prince doesn’t know who Karras is and Dreyfus explains that he was in
“Blazing Saddles” and “Victor/Victoria” and currently stars on “Webster.”
Prince still wants to know why Tina isn’t hosting so Julia directs them to the
control room where Dave Wilson plays an old film of Karras’s NFL days narrated
by Howard Cosell (Crystal’s voice). Hogan announces that Prince approves of
Karras hosting on the condition that Prince open the show with LFNY. There
wasn’t a lot in terms of jokes to this cold open, but at least it was
entertaining what with Belushi randomly beating up everyone in his path
(including Hall, Kroeger and Larry David). Belushi did a horrible impression of
the Hulkster. His voice wasn’t nearly low or guttural enough, but at least he
looked the part really well. I do have to give Crystal credit for doing an accurate
enough mostly non verbal Prince impression just going by his looks and
mannerisms (even if he was wearing some bronzer). B+
Monologue – Karras addresses some of the calls he got from
friends back in California (including his wife who affectionately calls him
“dirigible”) asking why he is going to do SNL because they don’t find him all
that funny. This had to be the shortest monologue they’ve done all season. It
was only a couple of minutes long. Thankfully, they kept it short because it
was light on material. At the very least, one could say Karras proved he had
the right attitude for the show here. C+
Grimley and Malone – Ed Grimley makes his fifth apperance
this season (in about twelve episodes). Say what you will about this character,
but at least they knew how to space his appearances out. In this installment,
Ed is cleaning his apartment with a feather duster, but decides to move on to
practicing for tomorrow’s triangle lesson. Suddenly, he gets a phone call from
his neighbor Miss Malone (Turner) who he seems to have a huge crush on. She
wants to stop by his apartment to borrow a few oranges. Sadly, he has a tona of
onions, but no oranges apparently so she just goes to the store after telling
him that she also liked her music loud. As she walks down the street, she is
blown into Ed’s apartment by a strong gust of wind. They decide to share a
turkey pot pie. This was an odd use of Tina Turner in a sketch, but it was fun.
I liked when she joined in his little dance at the end and I liked that they
added some dimension to this character. B-
Time – This is a fake ad for Time magazine narrated by
Guest. It’s accompanied by a jingle that accuses Time of a lack of fact
checking and saying their “news” is based on hearsay and unsupported evidence.
It turs out to actually be an ad for Newsweek who is suing Time (or at least
reporting on someone who did at the time). This was a pretty harsh slam on Time
magazine, but it was still pretty funny. I’d have to say Guest must have
written this since it has some teeth to it and Shearer had left the show by
this point. B+
A Couple of White Guys – Stephenson introcudes the
Television debut of this act from New Haven, CT. This was essentially Karras
and Belushi dressed as golfers rapping about their WASPish privilaged “country
club” lifestyle. For the most part, this was just as lame as it sounds. There
were a few funny lines about secretly dressing in drag and trying not act like
nerds. The martini shakers made me chuckle. C+
Kelly Cola – Company executives (Kroeger and Gross) are
trying to keep co worker Dale Butterworth (Crystal) from getting too nervous
before their big meeting with owner Mr. Kelly (Karras). Kelly wants to figure
out why their sales figures are falling. Gross states the obvious and Kroeger
picthes two lame slogans. Kelly wants to berate Butterworth as he is in charge
of Research and Development. Suddenly, he begins sweating very heavliy. He
panics and starts to drink his own sweat beacust “it’s kinda tangy”. Everyone
else tries some and agrees. Dale is suddenly congratulated for finding the
missing ingredient needed to make people want to buy Kelly Cola. To keep Dale
nervous, Kroeger says he’ll have an afair with his wife, Gross will sleep with
him and tell him she’s pregnant and Kelly will cut his salary in half. Well,
this was different. It was certainly a more creativ sketch that got a disgusted
reaction form the audience. I personally liked it. Crystal may have been trying
too hard, but other wise this was a decent sketch. C+
Power From Giving – Deputy Undersecretaty of the Interior
Thomas Barracks (Belushi) states that the most important thing in his life is
his personal relationship with Ed Meese. He tells you about this book which
will help your own life by telling you how to give Ed Meese $83,000 for crooked
Real Estate Deals and such. This must have been a parody of “Powerful Living”
which stressed one’s personal relationship with God. This was decent political
stire then, but it doesn’t hold up as well now. C-
New York on Five Dollars a Day – Bernhard Goetz (Hall) gives
tips on inexpensive sight seeing in New York. He just points out famous
landmarks from violent scenes in films such as “Taxi Driver” and “Lady Hawk”.
This was funny and brief, but you’d have go get that Goetz was a murderer to
understand some of these references. B-
Fritz’s Bait and Tackle – After losing the election, Walter
Mondale (Kroeger) moves back to Minnesota to open up a hunting goods shop with
his wife Joan (Dreyfus). He is accosted by a group of goofy backwoods hunters
(Crystal, Guest, Karras) who just mock him. He advises the hunters to go
hunting for moose because they started showing up. Mondale doesn’t realize that
his pathetic sobs sound almost identical to their mating call. This ended up
being pretty funny. I liked the slams at Ferraro and Joan apologizing for not
voting for her husband. B-
Saturday Night News – This is “sponsored” by Kelly Cola’s
“Brow Brew”. Nice rare callback to a sketch. This was sort of reminiscent of
77-78 Weekend Updates. Anyway, Guest’s best joke was the Donahue hoax. White
House Inauguration wanderer Robert Latta (Hall) shows up claiming he sneaked in
with the band. He brags of the other places he snuck into where he wasn’t
supposed ot be which he does as a hobby. He shows (superimposed) pictures of
himself on the space shuttle, at the arms talks and in the movie “Zelig”. A
security gurad escorts him out and Guest claims he will show Latta how to get
to Radio City Music hall. This didn’t hold up, but Hall’s acting was funny.
Those that don’t get the reference can just think of him as the Tareq Salahi of
the ‘80s. Those who don’t get THAT reference should just look up SNL’s Blake
Lively/Rhianna episode. Guest reports on the the EPA’s findings of the dangers
of sceond hand smoke. Lawyer Nathan Thurm (Short) is interviewed via satelite
in poor defense of the tobacco industry and makes empty claims that smoking
could be beneficial to you. This was better than his last appearance because it
had some substance to it. I liked Short making fun of Guest’s jacket saying it
was dangerous to the health of others. Belushi is supposed to be delivering a
review of a new restaurant he went to on a date, but quickly rants about being
seated between an amorous gay couple and two yuppie couples. One are arguing
over who gave herpes to whom and one who can’t control their child. Of course,
Belushi whips out his airhorn. It turns out his girlfriend wanted to break up
with him because he is too tense, so he left and went to his favorite rib
joint. This was possibly his funniest airhorn commentary yet. B+
Tuesday Night Titans – Vince MacMahon (Hall) hosts this
wrestling themed talk show. His guests include Captain Lou Albano (Karras) who
just complains about the federal deficit and midget wrestler Little Ceaser
(Crystal) who just talks smack about Albano and starts a talk about toxic
waste. Ceaser smacks Albano’s facial piercing causing him to bleed. They
basically mock fight chasing each other around the studio knocking a couple of
people down. Cyndi Lauper (Stephenson)shows up to heckle Albano. Christ,
Crystal got on my nerves here. He played the least convincing midget ever and
used the most nasal high pitched voice ever. Stephenson added nothing and
Karras really didn’t blow me away.I did like how Karras stomped on the table
unenthusiastically and Hall said the fight was “totally unplanned.” Hall did a
decent MacMahon. He had the right voice for it. I guess the idea of political
discussion on a wrestling show was funny on paper, but they should’ve done more
with it. D+
New Auctioneer – Guest is a new Sotheby’s auctioneer
casually destroys items such as ancient Ming fingerbowls if nobody bids on them
fast enough. Mr. Sotheby (Kroeger) questions his competency while Gross want to
give him a chance as he said he can bring in a price. He eventually opens
bidding on a hermetically sealed aquarium with three kittens and one minute of
air. Then, he puts a gun to his head in order to sell a silver bullet used in
the Lone Ranger and ends up shooting himself. This was probably the best sketch
of the night. Seeing Guest play insane characters is a refereshing change of
pace for him and Dreyfus calling him the antichrist cracked me up. A-
Well, this wa sone of the more middle of the road episodes
for this season. Karras proved a capable (if not unmemorable) host. Next
episode is Harry Anderson/Bryan Adams.
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