Kim Kardashian-West/Halsey (10.9.2021)

Okay, here's my review. I went into this episode with low expectations (not the lowest but still) and aside from Update exceeding then this show started off exactly as stable as I could hoped for but gradually slid downward after the absolute peak that was Update. Kim Kardashian-West was pretty much the exact mix of "stiff, non actress" and "emotionlessly showing an acceptance of the general idea of poking fun at herself" as I was expecting but the way the show had to write around her didn't exactly help. Everyone (except the still absent Kate) got some screen time (although the new featured players made far less of an impact from last week). Anyway, let's get right into it, shall we?

C-SPAN Facebook Hearings - Well, I never thought I'd be saying this about a C-SPAN congressional hearing cold open that devolved into a sideshow of random meme and ended with Pete portraying MySpace Tom but this was actually a pleasant surprise! Cecily, Chris and Kyle had some great lines and Aidy as Ted Cruz...was there...but at least tonight's host or her relatives or anyone else she's ever met wasn't on screen just yet. The real highlight for me at least was seeing James Austin Johnson (hopefully, not temporarily) replacing Kate as Lindsay Graham. He even managed to elevate the same old stale "lolgay" writing they would've given to Kate if she were there. Good thing they kept their obligatory Squid Game references here this week. Also, was Alex playing Mark Zuckerberg or was he playing present day Rifftrax era Michael J. Nelson? Incidentally, I am dressed just like Joel Hodgson in the MST3K Seasons 1-5 opening title right now (red jumpsuit, yellow Gizmonic hardhat and all because...why the hell not? It's almost Halloween. Let's have some fun!) Pete as MySpace Tom felt heavily telegraphed but he was decent here. The audience response suggested he might be all over this episode since the demo they were going for with this host was obviously "people who keep up with tabloid celebrities." C-

Monologue - (*sigh*) Here we go. Anyone else getting major Paris Hilton vibes from this so far? I'm glad that that "gold digger" reference turned out to just be a jab at her moms' boy toy rather than her bringing Kanye out on stage. I wasn't crazy about her kissing his ass as much as she did either at first but that long walk to that "divorce/personality" joke was worth it. Speaking of jokes that made this monologue worth sitting through, those OJ/Caitlyn jokes actually made me chuckle and I also liked the "I'm running for...just kidding". Otherwise...eh. Just more self promotion (but not totally as "shameless" as I expected). C+

Aladdin - Wow, THIS is something we really should've seen coming. Didn't Kim actually go out dresses as Jasmin for real on Halloween one year? At least this seemed like a fresh take on the basic premise of Aladdin...until Cecily and Kenan came floating in. Pete's still a solid, reliable presence on the show and God bless him for trying but not even he could quite put this over for me. Bowen seemed quite miscast here. C-

Women In The Club - Well, Punkie got a real chance to shine in this and Kim slept through a great deal of it. Ego offering Aristotle $500 for his sneakers was funny. I love seeing Ego and Cecily still on the show in general and while this seemed well within their wheelhouse, I appreciated seeing them share their spotlight with Punkie here. C+

The Dream Guy - Wow, that's a lot of genuinely unexpected male cameos! God bless Chris Rock for being a good team player but why the hell did Amy Schumer have to kill whatever miniscule momentum that Rock and Mooney were building up here in the middle of a D.O.A. nothing of a sketch? Also, God bless Kyle Mooney for bring Kyle Mooney and John Cena for showing his special talent for bring able to draw chuckles without any lines but it was far to late to salvage whatever this was. D-

The Switch - Given the fact that Aidy vocally protested Elon Musks' booking in May, I have to say I was a little disappointed that she would willingly appear in a pretape with Kim but then again, Aidy herself had also been trying to break into the world if fashion so I guess I should've expected something like this. It almost seemed like this was going to go somewhere worthwhile until Kim's mom and her worst sister showed up (although I'm glad Kim chose to kept the obligatory cameos from her own family out of the live sketches up to this point) but instead this just had to hit all of it's predictable beats as it limped to the finish line. C-

Lotto Drawing - Well, I'm glad this DIDN'T turn out to be a third Mikey Day/Matt Shatt sketch. It May have felt like a leftover script from season 39 that they had Sarah Squirm help punch up the ending on but I'd still take that over the one big thing literally everyone in my online SNL fan circle couldn't stop themselves from predicting. Honestly, the ending mixed with the performers all really pulling this off well (yes, even you Kim) made this the strongest sketch of the night by default. B-

Update was pretty much exactly what I needed at this point of the show. Even if Jost & Che had a few jokes that didn't quite work, their sheer chemistry was refreshing tonight. Kudos to Alex Moffat for absolutely demolishing it with the long awaited return of his acid-riddled movie critic Terry Fink (even if they did have to work in a shameless plug for a movie she just did a voice for). Kudos to Heidi for managing to play her third Weekend Update character who ISN'T supposed to be some kind of social media influencer (I guess she figured she couldn't compete with the host, huh?) but while I loved her energy, I couldn't quite get into this one. I had heard Heidi had a cut for time Update piece last week and without having known that I would've guessed that this (and not the cold open) was the thing that was written at 11pm last night after everybody else left since it was written entirely around an old Icona Pop/Charli XCX collab. B-

Peoples' Kourt - Well, I guess my first question would by why couldn't Kendall have been the one sister of Kim's to cameo in person here instead of Khloe? I'm glad this gave Melissa and Halsey some sketch time on air but I would trade the real Khloe for the real Kendall any day. Other than that, I'm real glad that we got Chris Redd as Kanye instead of Kanye as Kanye. That alone saved this sketch from being a GenZ Hospital/Musk Wario level trainwreck (which honestly would've been about 90% Kris and Khloes' fault). Kudos to Kim for having a Met Gala outfit that SNL can recreate in order to justify having Heidi Gardner play her. Also, did Mikey cowrite this sketch just so he could get Kim to sit in his lap? I guess the only reason it made more sense for Chloe (Fineman) to play Megan Fox instead of say, Cecily, was to accurately portray the height disparity between her and Pete/MGK (ditto Melissa/Kylie)? Furthermore, wouldn't a show like this be on Peacock instead of Hulu?? Didn't this family make a deal with Peacock to have all their shows on there now? Finally, I'll just note the brutal irony of Kim as Kourtney saying "eww, this is so cringe" as well as Steve Higgins saying this had "structure" and how frighteningly close to people's predictions this came and just leave it at that. D+

Please Don't Destroy: Desk Hard Selzer - I'm very glad SNL let these guys film something that has the exact same rapid fire vibe as their Twitter videos that I genuinely liked. I just wish I could’ve gotten into this more (I guess designer seltzer craze jokes just don't land with me) but I'm excited to see more from these guys on the show in the future. Also, it helps to rewatch this when it is NOT immediately preceeded by something like "People's Kourt" to appreciate the low key absurdity of it. It's also nice to see SNL do something they also haven't done in decades and give airtime to guys who are just writers and thus aren't credited in the opening montage like normal cast members. My God, if there were anytime for SNL to do SOMETHING to break from their rigid format...THIS would be the time to do it. C+

SKIMS For Thick Dogs - Well, at least this also gave Melissa, Sarah and Heidi some airtime (with actual spoken lines). Otherwise, this was completely lost on me despite Kenans' best efforts. D-

Now, it's time for me to officially start ranking season 47 from best to worst and yeah...this one's definitely a no-brainer so far.

1. Owen Wilson/Kacey Musgraves (10.2.2021)
2. Kim Kardashian-West/Halsey (10.9.2021)

Well, that was that. Next week, Rami Malek makes his hosting debut. From what little I've seen of him, he doesn't seem that different in person than Pete's unsettling low key portrayal of him but let's hope he can really surprise us (because now more than ever would that be the thing this show needs). See you then!